When Will We Be Satisfied?

Lately I've been wondering about this same question over and over.

When will we be satisfied?
When will I be satisfied?

Being that I'm a woman, obviously, I have a lot of other women in my life, old and young. Often the conversations end up being about someones new boots, new shirt, new jacket, cute hair, and coffee...We end up talking about the latest clothes we have purchased for fall, or the good deals we found at Target. Or we end up talking about how our boobs are too small, too large, or hang just quite a few inches too low. It's a perpetual conversation about our outer beauty. Now, I'm just as guilty as anyone else. It's the first thing I notice when I see a person. Cute boots, cute jacket, cute hair, cute glasses, cute watch...cute this that and everything else. And I don't think there's anything really wrong with talking about these things. It's all in good fun. We are ladies! The problem is when we start to put ourselves down in order to build another person up.

You know what I'm talking about. "Those jeans look so good on you! I've got NO butt what so ever, so I couldn't even pretend I could wear those." Or, "You're hair color is so perfect for you, don't look at mine though, I know it looks horrible I just can't afford to touch up these roots right now."

See what I mean?

As we complement someone else, we put ourselves down. All in one sentence.

When are we going to be satisfied?

A good friend of mine challenged me last year to not only complement every woman I talk to longer than 5 mins, she said to complement them on more than just their scarf. I remember her asking what we would be like as women if we said things like, you have beautiful cheek bones, or your eyes are so green. Or what if when another person puts themselves down by saying something negative about their bodacious booty, we tell them that they are just beautiful and curvy like so many other woman wish they were.

What if we verbally replaced the lies each one of us was saying about ourselves with the TRUTH. Often we don't see the truth ourselves, but other's see it before us. Take my Mom for instance. Whenever I'm with her she reminds me that my hair is so beautiful and how she wishes she had it. To be honest I never look in the mirror and think, wow this thick hair is beautiful! I think, wow, how much back combing do I need to do to get this volume to stay! She sees the beauty. I see the issue. Every time she complements my hair I'm reminded that it is nice hair and I should love it just the way it is, even if it's been a while since I've gotten it thinned out.

What if the next time I stood in a circle of women and the topic goes towards something like the song..."do your boobs hang low..." I reminded them that the reason those glorious girls are hanging lower than they used to is because they spent a good part of their life giving life and food to their precious children. How incredible is that? Why don't we remember those things? Your body BROUGHT LIFE and SUSTAINED LIFE THROUGH THOSE LADIES! Yes. I call them ladies my friends. Only for those a little more shy I presume....

When am I going to be satisfied and realize that this body is the body God created? He made me this way because he sees it as beautiful. Being that I am 23 I am still young. But that doesn't mean my body hasn't changed since high school. I now need to eat better and exercise throughout each week in order to sustain a healthy weight. I have to work for good health. Yet I still find myself looking back and wishing I could look like I did here, or there, or there, or in that photo. When am I going to be satisfied and realize that my body is changing because I'm human. When am I going to constantly remember that I exercise to be healthy, not thin.

Are you satisfied with the way you look? If so, I'm just so incredibly thankful! I truly am! And I would LOVE your words of wisdom because that means you have learned something so incredibly valuable that you need to share. For those of you who are not satisfied, why? What are you striving to look like? Those that live up to the unrealistic expectations our world has set? There's some pain deep down that they may not even realize just yet. Everybody struggles with something.

Today's challenge is for you, for me, for my close friends, and for those whom I have never met. My challenge is that we think about what it is we are striving for. Is it a healthy life? Or is it to be tiny, hot, and "sexy" according to the world.

Just think about it. When will you be satisfied? When will I love my body because it's mine and it's beautiful?

But God Helped Me Overcome

Lately I've been in a bit of a writing rut, which is not too normal for me. Typically I find myself falling asleep each night with various things going through my mind about God, life, beauty....all things that challenge me to journal and blog. It's been a season filled with early mornings and late nights, serving coffee and scones, until tonight. Tonight I am packing up my home, packing up the life that I've lived here in Canada for the last 5 years. Of course a night like this would lead someone like to me thinking...which only leads to writing....

This morning I had a coffee date with a really good friend and left feeling challenged, encouraged, and refreshed in so many ways. I sure hope she feels the same way because we were in Starbucks for a good four hours!

One of the things we were talking about was the things I fear in my life.
    -my big brother who is fighting in Afghanistan for the US Army
    -my 14 year old brother who is beginning his own battle through high school
    -my Mom, Dad, Grandma, the people I adore back home in Oregon
    -my husband and the beautiful journey we are on together and the things that frustrate me about myself
    -my fear for our future, what our roles may be in this beautiful new church we have joined
    -my fear of being forgotten, for not being able to use the gifts I've been given and so desire to use

This may seem like quite a lot to talk about in one coffee date but hey, we are women right?

So as I was just thinking about the various things I'm worried about, I could hear God saying, Just TRUST me Britt, I'm your heavenly Father. I have written every page of your life even before you were born. I have your life in my hands. Release your fear. Release your worries. Release your brother to me, I will take care of him. Release your little brother, I have wonderful plans for his life. I love your parents, even more than you do, I have incredible plans for them. I adore your Grandmother, she's my precious daughter. I have things planned for you and Jason, things that you could never imagine. Truth me Brittany. Trust me. Trust me. Just trust me.

The cry of my heart is to trust Jesus with everything I have. To open up my hands and release all of those things I am holding so tightly. Why do I do this? The creator of the heavens and the earth LOVES ME and takes care of me. I need to TRUST IN HIM.

The song, Overcome by The Desperation Band came on the playlist and hit me ever so deeply tonight. Hearing the words of various people my age saying how God has helped them overcome, reminded me that I'm not alone. I'm not the only one that still has things I need to overcome. I'm not the only one that  can say God has helped me overcome an eating disorder, insecurities galore, fear of leaving my family, fear of the unknown, fear of singing in front of people and allowing God to use my voice. I've overcome the average person's fear of speaking in front of groups of people. The list really could go on. Yet, the list of things I know and desire for the Lord to help me overcome is even larger. And for the truth that GOD WILL HELP ME OVERCOME, I am grateful! So incredibly grateful!

What is it that is holding you back today? What is it that you find yourself thinking about way too much? What are you worried about? What are you doubting God can do?

I'm serious. Take a moment to allow God to show you what it is you are holding onto and not allowing God to free you from.

Then, release it to God. Release it to Him in the morning when you wake up and begin to fret and worry about it again. Release it as you drive to work, or as you fall asleep each night.

I know I'm going to have to do that.

Listen to this song, and allow God's truth to fill up your heart.
What has he helped you overcome?
What CAN he help you overcome?

We're Forgiven

Isn't that right there such a beautiful truth?

As I completed some other writing, the song, Forgiven by Sanctus Real came on the playlist, and I just had to write an encouraging reminder to us all. You and me both baby!

This line hits me the most, "devil just won't let me forget".

He doesn't seem to want us to forget what we've done in the past. He doesn't want us to live in the freedom of God's forgiveness. He wants us to be boggled down by every sin we've ever committed. He wants us to be filled with fear, anger, frustration, guilt, and just about every other things that fills us with pain. He wants to bring us as far away from God's original plan that he can. He begins by breaking our hearts, by ripping apart every truth he hold onto dearly in our hearts.

Sometimes when I'm struggling with my body image and holding onto God's truth, I begin to fear that I'm going to go down the same road I went a few years ago. That I'll just forget everything I've learned and spend my life on the eliptical again. I fear that I'll lose all the strength I've gain in my mind in knowing God's truth. And then I take a moment to stop and think and I'm reminded that fear is not from God, which means we are not supposed to hold on to that. The devil is doing everything in his power to keep myself from speaking God's truth into my own life, by spreading lies, which produces fear.

And that's when I've got it! I get it! I can battle through this because I've got the upper hand. I've got the creator of the universe on my side. He's not letting go of me anytime soon, so I can push through these lies, and believe in the truth. Thank goodness I'm not alone!

So where am I going with this?

We are forgiven. We means we don't need to live in fear because of what we've done in the past. We've been forgiven!

Praise God for this truth today!

Brit

Take a second to listen, we've been forgiven!

It's a Continuing Dream

The other night I got to see three beautiful ladies that were a part of the very first session of The Beautiful Truth and let me tell you, everything I had felt during that series flooded back into my memory. I even leaned over and whispered to Jase at one point saying I wanted to do The Beautiful Truth at CBC again this year.

For those of you wondering, The Beautiful Truth is not over for good, it's only the beginning! I spent about  9 months last year pouring my heart and soul into something that I hope to have in my life for many many years. Yes, I have graduated from Columbia Bible College, and do not think I will be able to lead this ministry on that campus again. But that doesn't mean it won't be happening somewhere else. My husband and I are still in a place of searching for where we are supposed to settle down and plug our lives into for the long haul. Which means I am busy spending time time working at "that wonderful coffee shop we all make sure to stop at on a regular basis." We are also pouring our hearts out into the lives of the youth in our church this school year, which is something we are really excited about. That just means it could be difficult pulling of a successful 8 week series of The Beautiful Truth at CBC.

Who knows what the future may bring though! Maybe years down the road, The Beautiful Truth will take place each January at CBC, along with tons of other college campuses, churches, and anywhere else! That is my dream you know:)

The Beautiful Truth begins to grow each day. As I've started working about 30 hours a week, my energy level has cut down quite a bit and my motivation to get in that healthy exercise has lost it's spunk some days. I continue to struggle with the temptation to each yummy things at work, things that make my mind spin and lead my down a path that doesn't bring out the best. Don't get me wrong ladies, I LOVE my desserts and allow myself to enjoy them on an occasion WEEKLY. Yet, it's difficult when those yummy things get damaged at work, and you are more than allowed to eat them! I try and just take a bit or two to give myself a treat, and the let it go. Yet, the temptation is still there, and the struggle of positive and negative self talk can so easily creep in.

Why am I sharing this with you?

Just to remind you once again that I struggle too, even though I've created a ministry that teaches us God's truth about how beautiful we are already! So it's ok, we're going to have our bad days where our confidence is struggling, but what have we learned through The Beautiful Truth? WE ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY WE ARE. Yes, we need to take care of our bodies in a healthy way because we are God's precious creation. Yes, we get to enjoy yummy food hear and there. Daily even when the proportions are right!

Babbling seems to be a gift of mine:) Yet, that's what blogs are for sometimes!

The Beautiful Truth is not done, and will only continue to grow from here! My job is to listen to God's leading about where I am supposed to share this ministry next time, whether that's 5 months from now (if so, God start talkin cuz I've gotta get goin!:) Or if it's 2 years from now....

For now, I will continue to pour the only thing I know, God's truth about our beauty, out in this blog, in the relationships I have, and any young women, or old, that needs to hear God's truth!

Can I hear an AMEN?!

K ladies, remember that you are BEAUTIFUL! If there is a topic you want to hear about, an experience you've been dying to know if someone else has battled through, send an email to thebeautifultruth@hotmail.com and I can spend time researching, and writing about it on here ok? Oddly enough, that's what I enjoy doing in my spare time:)

Hugs and Blessings,

Brit

Britt's Journey

Hey ladies, this morning I spoke at the Mercy Ministries house here in BC and thought it might help you out to actually know more details to my story.  I just want to share it so that if you have or are struggling with something, know you are NOT ALONE.


About four years ago I just completed my first year of school at Columbia Bible College in Abbotsford, and had of course gained the “freshmen 15”. How it happened? Late night pizza runs, daily delectable desserts that consisted of more than the moderate amount, and then a lack of movement (aka. Studying, sleeping, not much exercise, studying, sleeping and eating a lot more carbs from the cafeteria)

So as I had gained a little bit of weight, my mind began to be consumed with losing weight, and exercising. I started to exercise 6 days a week, however long I was able to each day, as well as cut calories without losing energy. I still ate food, yet I had believed that in order to be beautiful I needed to be skinny. So, in order to be skinny, I needed to exercise a lot, and eat as “healthy” as I possibly can.

Now for some of you, you may hear this and say, “Wow, that’s not that outrageous, you could have done a whole lot worse.” Yet, the truth is, I wasn’t doing any of this because I wanted to take care of my body in a good way. I was doing this so that I would look like the women in People Magazine, or Cosmopolitan. Being that I’ve always had a booty, and my body shape is similar to J-Lo’s, I thought I needed to get even skinnier, to look like she does in the movies. What a lie! I was believing that who I am not good enough, therefore I need to become what the world says is beautiful. I need to fit into that mold. My butt needs to get smaller, my arms need to be more toned, my stomach needs to be tighter, and goodness we have got to get rid of that cellulite.

This is when the spiral downward began. For about nine months, my life was consumed with exercise and counting calories. I had gone back to school for my second year and wanted to prove to everyone that “I exercise and eat less than you do.” Because the lie that I had believed was, “You are only beautiful if you exercise a lot and eat really healthy.”

I began to obsess over when I was going to eat next and what that would be. I lived in yoga pants and a sweatshirt so that I could hit the gym in between classes. My conversations became really difficult because I wasn’t able to concentrate on anything other people were saying. I was always thinking about my body, food, and exercise. I started talking all the time about food, and constantly putting myself down verbally. You know the lines, “Oh I am so fat. I’m so fat in this. I am so ugly. Yuck, I hate what I see in the mirror. If I eat this, my butt is going to grow an inch this minute”. As funny as that sounds, I actually believed it. At times when I would lie down to go to sleep, I thought I could actually feel my body getting bigger. I thought my underwear were always getting tighter, which means I was getting bigger. Reality was falling further and further away, and I was become more and more unhealthy.

So how on earth did I get out of that dark whole? It was a really long fight, and it still continues today. I remember one night talking to a good friend of mine, who is now my husband, and telling him about my fear of getting fat, of being overweight, or obese. I remember him telling me how unhealthy I was on the inside, even though I seemed to be healthy on the outside. One evening I had been invited to go to a cheesecake dessert party. I turned down the invite because I had already had my cookie, my dessert for the day, and there was no way I was going to indulge a little for that week. I mean, I think we all know what would have happened to in my mind if I had eating any of that cake. Frustration, depression, disgust with myself of “going over board”. There’s another lie!

That’s when I knew I had a problem. I could even hear my Mom saying to me, “Don’t you ever go anorexic on my Britt, and come to me when you start to struggle.” See, I had been a ballerina for about 5 years from the age of 3. I was then a cheerleader throughout high school. I had been surrounded by insecurities, lies, and deception for a very long time. I had allowed myself to believe that I needed to be skinny, to be beautiful.

I started going through some prayer counseling, and regular counseling. I had even gone to the doctor to get my anxiety medication tweaked. (That’s a whole other story, but I’ve struggled with anxiety my whole life) Because of my eating disorder, and mix of anxiety, I was not able to mentally work through any of my struggles because of the chemical imbalance in my brain. I had so much noise inside, and needed the help of some medication in order to be in the right mindset to actually work through the lies I had come to believe about my body.

Through out that journey, I somehow came across Psalm 139. This was a verse that I used to literally transform my way of thinking. God’s truth spoke so deeply into my heart from this verse, that I began to open my eyes to see how beautiful I actually was.

Psalm 139:13-16 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of the came to be.”

I came to realize the body God had given me, was perfect with every imperfection. I was created to be exactly this way because God sees it at beautiful. He is the artist, and I am the artwork that he looks upon with such satisfaction and joy. How can I not allow that truth to speak to my soul? I began to unravel each and every lie I had begun to believe, and see that they had only brought pain, depression, and emptiness. Yet, when I allowed myself to believe the truth, that I am beautiful just the way I am, my life was filled with more joy and peace than I could every imagine.

Now to be honest, the battle is still strong. I continue to seek God for that joy and peace because the lies of this world are so loud. They are so strong. They are everywhere. There are seasons in my life where I have to get on my hands and knees daily to ask God to help me feel beautiful. Sometimes I write verses about my beauty on the mirror in my bathroom. Sometimes I had to take some time away from watching TV and movies, so that I can remember what true beauty is, not what beauty is according to The Hills, or Laguna Beach. I have come to a place where I enjoy exercise, and am still only exercising 3-4 days a week. That’s the limit I was put on in my counseling, and that limit has allowed my mind that can easily obsess, to live in the freedom that comes from only 3-4 days of exercise. I have seasons where I notice I am eating a little too unhealthy because I have been able to experience the freedom from those counting calories days. So it’s a constant battle to remember to eat healthy, and take care of my body because I am God’s piece of art. I am his beautiful creation.

So now that my mind has been transformed, I am able to see the truth that I am beautiful. And when I have those days where I feel a little larger, a little thicker, I look at how I am living. Am I eating healthy, am I exercising at a healthy amount? If not, I know where I need to make changes to be HEALTHY. If I am, then I know I need to work on my heart and my mind. I need to dig in and see what lies I am starting to believe. I don’t want you to sit here and think this is a constantly difficult battle. It’s not CONSTANT. It does poke its nose in here and there, but I have now been given the tools to battle it and conquer it.
I believe that each one of you are now learning the tools and will come to a place where you can battle your struggles and conquer it. Keep your eyes on Jesus, for he is the author and profector of our faith. He is the creator of our beautiful bodies.

Praying for you guys!

Britt

Bikini's and Cellulite. They sure don't mix!

Ok ladies, how many times do we have to do this thing called swimming suit shopping?

I mean, don't get me wrong, I love having a cute swimsuit. It's just that I put off that whole shopping trip so that I don't have to experience the horrendous lights shining down on me, in that stark white dressing room, showing off my most secret "flaws". Or maybe they aren't so secret anymore now that I don't hide anything on here. Authenticity much?

Anyway, I've got a story for you. A few days ago a really good friend and I were on a hunt for some cute, comfy, FLATTERING swimming suits. We knew that we had put off this shopping trip long enough, and that it was time to head out and find one.

So here we are, more than enough adorable suits in hand, walking to the dressing room. Now, just a pre-cursor, my friend Char and I are more than loud. It's as though we forget there are other people in this world. I was in one dressing room, and she was in another down at the end of the room. Yet, as we were trying on suit after suit, we made sure to express everything going through our minds at the time.

"Oh Gosh, this thing does not look good."
"Why does it look so good on the hanger, then I put it on and it's like..."
"Since when do I have a small chest?"
"Really? It's as though cellulite has come out of NO WHERE?!"
"Oh, this one...this one is NASTY!"
"And my favorite of all, God, I'm still waiting to lose those 10 lbs!"

Well, once I felt defeated enough, I decided to head back out and pick out some more suits that just HAD to work.

And I ran into a friend!

And she said, "I thought that was you in the dressing room talking".....

:) Oops! That's about all I was thinking at the time. Someone else heard all of that? Heard all our vocal exposing of our flaws? SO LOUDLY?!

Crap....

Ya know, I can hear my Mom right now telling me that I've never been one to keep my thoughts to myself.

The funny thing is, my friend that hear our commentary on the suits said, "I was feelin the same thing!"

Why is it so hard to find a suit that makes us feel beautiful, but also comfortable?

I remember one conversation I had with my husband and he asked me if it was weird to wear a bikini being that it's basically the same as a bra and undies, except the fabric will hopefully not expose what REALLY needs to be hidden! My response was that it only feels weird if I have JUST eating the biggest hamburger and fries, or at the beginning of the summer when my skin hasn't seen anything close to the sun in months.

It's funny though. When you finally find the suit that you know works, you love it! And then you don't want to have to find another one! I do have one that I've had for a few years now that I love, but it's starting to show that I LOVE it. And it just might soon start showing a little too much, which I wouldn't love!

So how do we avoid this?

I have no idea! All I know is that you aren't the only one that stands in front of the mirror going, yikes, I look so much better at home!

And I guess this was just a moment of venting!

Anybody with me here??

Britt

So what is The Beautiful Truth?

Hey there!

If you are new to this site, or new to this ministry, I would love to connect you back to the blog describing what exactly The Beautiful Truth is and how it all began. So feel free to check it out here!

But just a quick overview of what this is:

It's a ministry that exists in order to bring God's truth back into the lives of young women. What's that truth? That each and every woman is absolutely beautiful just the way they are.

It's a website where young women and old can come and be reminded that they are not alone in the battle to feel beautiful.

It's a community of people desiring to bring healing to those struggling with self esteem issues.

It's an 8 week program that can take place in a church as a small group. Through out the 8 weeks, you will be breaking through six of the most obvious lies we as women face on a daily basis.
    6 Main Topics:
              Physical Beauty
              Food
              Sex
              Intelligence
              Comparing ourselves with other women
              Fitness

Each week we bring in a guest speaker that is an expert in each area, yet has also struggled with their own battle to feel beautiful.

I am under the Non-Profit Organization in the state of Washington called The Discovery Series so I have a network of people surrounding me and this new, wonderful thing called The Beautiful Truth.


God has already begun to do some incredible things through this ministry and here is one of the beautiful testimonies I have received so far:

When I went to The Beautiful Truth for the first time and Brittany shared her story and at the end she said "if any of you struggle with these things, i challenge you to read Psalm 139 everyday for 3 weeks-a month. I began to read it but not believing the words and I began to slip back into an eating disorder, I skipped meals and was trying to eat as little as possible and kept working out alot. But then something clicked and I was like "no" I can't be this girl again, so I actually admitted my problems and I flew home for the weekend. While there I continued to read Psalm 139 everyday, I came back to college and I had a renewed strength and knowledge that I could do this. I slowly began to believe the words in Psalm 139. I went to The Beautiful Truth and I was challenged every week. The one on fitness impacted me hugely because I realized I was not alone. I could relate to everything the speaker said and I knew that we both had the strength to make it through. I looked at her and thought she was gorgeous, and that made me think..I bet some people see me that way also. Throughout the semester, every time I got back from TBT I was happy and just got strength and wisdom for the week. It's funny again how God works because the one session that I wanted to go to the least was the one that changed me the most. It was "intelligence" and that guest speaker talked about lies we believe and how if we are ready to give them up and lay them at the cross, then just do it. I had been thinking about moving away from my past for quite a while and this was the perfect opportunity. I wrote down the lie of worthlessness that had consumed me for 6 yrs and I gave it to God at the cross. Then I picked up a verse about joy. Ever since that day I have a new freedom about me and I am filled with joy. As a reminder of how I gave God that lie, I put on a bracelet that says "give" everyday. When I put it on I say a prayer to God just saying that I give those lies and feelings to him and they will no longer control my life.

Isn't this just incredible? I can't wait to share even more with you!



It's such an awesome program so let me know if you ever want to bring it to your church!









         

Gungor - Beautiful Things

You know when you take a moment to look at a flower, and I mean really look at it?

Aren't they just beautiful?!

I was thinking about this last night. How we always look at flowers and see them as absolutely beautiful. When we come across a blemish, a broken petal or some type of spot, we still think that this flower is the most beautiful thing. Everything about it is precious, delicate, and just beautiful.

Have you ever thought about the reality that God feels the same way when he looks at us?

I know I know, some of you might be thinking--wow, how relevant.

IT IS!

That big guy upstairs actually CREATED us! And he sees those flaws and thinks they are incredibly beautiful. Why?

Because God makes BEAUTIFUL THINGS. He doesn't make mistakes! He makes us all beautiful, unique in our own ways. I read this out of a cute book called Unsqueezed, by Margot Starbuck last night and felt I had to share it with you ladies.

Pre-cursor. This has to do with our flaws, the things we think are imperfections, when really they just set us a part from the rest of humanity.

"For years I had watched these horrible makeover shows that make women look like people they're not, all under the clever guise of boosting their attractiveness. In that instant, though I finally understood why each face and each body had been created differently in the first place. I understood, intuitively, why God didn't decided to give each one of us identical matching trouble-free hair, cute perky noses, wide sparkly doe eyes, cut abs and cellulite-free thighs.

It's because HUMAN BEINGS ARE WORTH RECOGNIZING.

Because the individual who is knowable through each body is so entirely WORTH being seen, and heard, and known and loved, God went to all the trouble of making everyone of us different--billions of us, in fact--so that each one of us could be recognized by one another. Precisely because that IS a lot of trouble. I have to believe that God had a pretty good reason for doing that purposeful cumbersome thing."

Unsqueezed, by Margot Starbuck

How incredible is that?!

Just think about that one today. Think about those blemishes you see and replace those lies with the fact that God created you that way to set you apart from every other woman on this earth. To make you UNIQUE.

Still not convinced? Check out what two radical women are doing in LA. That's right, BEAUTY central in our minds.

http://www.loveyourflawz.com/

All Lies Are But Lies....

You know it's funny. You would think that as the leader of a ministry such as The Beautiful Truth, I would somehow be exempt from having to continue to struggle with my body image, because I'm the one trying to help all of you other women to feel beautiful. You would think it would get easier for me because I am continually talking about God's truth in our beauty. You would think that wouldn't you?

Well, you would also think there would come a point in time where I didn't have to remind you that this is exactly the opposite! As I think about the past blogs I have posted on here, the majority of them talk about how I GET IT. I know what it's like to struggle in my own skin.

Today isn't different. Nope.
But today I have some more hope.

The last few weeks have been more stressful than normal with the reality of graduating college hitting me in the face. I've been job hunting, and figuring out some other really important things, and this leads this "girl that struggles with anxiety" down a path that feels like a mental tornado.

My mind is filled with all sorts of stuff.
-What's for dinner tonight? Tomorrow? Friday? I mean, I want something nice to be here for my sweet hubby when he gets home from work.
-I wonder if ANYONE will call me back about my resume
-When will my work visa go through?
-Will it?
-Are we going to continue living in Canada?
-Or are we finally going to move back to the states?
-Am I losing those extra 7 pounds I want to get off?
-Or is that number on the scale counting in my muscle mass since I do alot of weight training?
-Am I ever going to fit into those beautiful hand-me-down Sevens and Citizens I got from my amazing sister in law?
-Do I keep them out to be an inspiration, or do I hide them so I don't obsess over them?
-So what's for dinner?
-Oh yes, I need to spend some time with God today.
-Laundry. Dishes. Vacuuming (which I love with my new vacuum:) Cleaning. Tidying. How am I going to function when we have children?
-I'm pry never going to be ready for kids!
-What's for dinner again?
-Oh yes. God! I need some time with God.
-Workout time! Veggies. Fruit. Nope, don't eat those cards.

Get the picture? Are you overwhelmed with my thinking here? Cuz I am! Actually, it's embarrassing to read how my thought process can go throughout the day. But it's pure honestly ladies. Or else I'm the only crazy one;)

So where on earth am I going with this today?

Even though I lead this ministry, I DO NOT get to pull the PASS card.
I struggle just as much as any of you do. I may not be in the place where I was when I was really battling an eating disorder, but the memory is oh so present.

Last week I spoke at a youth group Girl's Night and just loved it! Seeing all those beautiful faces listening intently about God's truth was such a gift to me. It's always great practice, but it's always such a reminder. I'm reminded of all that God has done in my life, in taking me from a place filled with lies and deception about my body, to a place where I saw how beautifully God had created me. So why do I still struggle?

I think it's so I never lose my humility. I think it's so that I am always reminded of how absolutely difficult it is to battle through things like this. I'm not just talking about serious eating disorders, and if that's where you are, PLEASE GET HELP. Right now, I'm talking about the daily struggle to just feel beautiful in your own skin. The struggle to KNOW that you are not supposed to look like the models in the magazines. Those women don't even look like that once airbrushing and photoshop does its job.

Sometimes I believe I still struggle with this because it keeps me running back to my Lord, falling on my knees remembering that HE CREATED ME. That HE LOVES ME. And that I CANNOT LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT HIM.

And goodness I PRAISE God for that!

So as I was journaling this morning, just laying down my thoughts and concerns to the Lord, I wrote down these words and believed I needed to share them with you.

ALL LIES ARE BUT LIES.

Yep. Plain and simple. Every lie that comes into your mind, is JUST A LIE. So IGNORE it. It has NO power over you, over me. It cannot change the way we think or feel about ourselves because it's NOT TRUE.

So next time you are scrolling through some friend of a friend's photo's on facebook and you wish you looked more like that girl with the blonde hair, or the girl with the "perfect stomach" claim that lie right there. It's a LIE ladies! You are beautiful just as you are! Maybe you need to eat a little healthier, or start exercising, but you are still BEAUTIFUL. And I can guarantee the girl with the "perfect stomach" wished her abs were more toned, or thinks she has too big of a booty. I've done my research ladies. I've had MANY conversations and have heard things like this come out of the mouths of those exact girls.

So those lies I may be believing or allowing to bring me down? Yep. UNTRUE. So why waste my time allowing them to ruin my day?!

K lady loves, it's time for me to end this loooooong blog.

You're beautiful you know that?!
Yep. SAY it. 

Pure Honesty. Really?

Well, of course when I'm trying to fall asleep, my mind begins to wander and I the need to journal begins. So I got out of bed as quietly as I could without waking up the husband, but alas...I woke him up. I guess that's what happens when you sleep in a double. Soon and very soon we will have a bigger, nice, incredible, roomy bed-but that's not why I'm writing tonight now is it?

I struggle with my body image.
SHOCKER ALERT!

No really though, I do! And of course that would make sense as to why I created The Beautiful Truth, or really why I listened to God when he put it on my heart to get a ministry like this going. But even though day in and day out my mind is thinking about The Beautiful Truth and what I am going to do next. I'm always planning ahead, and dreaming about the future of this ministry. When I've got a few speaking engagements coming up, my mind is totally focused on what types of things I am going to discuss or bring up. So as I lay in bed tonight I could feel God knocking on the doors of my heart, telling me to get out of that warm bed and grab my journal. It's time to listen.

So as I started just writing and praising God for the day, and food, and whatever else seems to come out first, I started to write out some ideas for my message for next week. The word DECEPTION came to mind. I've been so deceived many times by the media and by the world that I NEED to be thinner in order to be really happy.

You might be sitting here wondering why on earth I would even believe such a lie when I've got a ministry surrounded by taking the lies we have believed and bringing in God's truth.

And that's what I'm trying to say!
I'VE STRUGGLED WITH IT. I STILL BATTLE THROUGH IT!
And that's why I won't stop talking about it! I may not have an eating disorder anymore, or struggle with an intense amount of lies about myself. But I still do struggle. Lately for instance I have noticed that since I've gotten married I've put on just a few pounds that don't need to be there. They have come on for a variety of reasons. Yet, as I have kicked my booty back in gear to try and get back to where I feel healthy again, I need to keep myself in check.

It's so easy for me to get excited about working out. I LOVE exercise! I promise you, I really do! Some of you right now are already saying you are crazy, I sure don't have that problem. But just listen to me...I  promise I have other issues;) Really though, it can be easy to get obsessed again about losing weight and the number on the scale. When in all reality that's not what I should be going by.

For me, when I was coming out of my eating disorder and on the path to a healthier way of "being healthy" I developed a great lifestyle. Eating good. Not too many desserts (my #1 weakness, and I mean WEAKNESS hunny) and a good work-out 3-4 days a week. That's when I feel the best mentally, physically, and emotionally. Jason can even tell when I've gotten off that track because I start feeling really insecure and complain about my body. So when I get off that track, the downward spiral begins and I have to start all over again with that healthy balance of a life. Ugh...

Anybody feeling me here?!!!

The reason I am sharing this with you is because I want you to know I totally get it and even though it is my greatest passion and desire to help other women feel beautiful, I'm praying and pushing for the same thing for myself. I have come to KNOW that I am beautiful exactly how I am. Cuz goodness gracious God made me this way! It's just a matter of BELIEVING that and LIVING it out.

So what's my challenge for MYSELF today?

To believe it! To keep from getting obsessed with exercise, food, calories, unrealistic ideas that are built on lies. Yep. That's it! I've been created by God, in the image of God, as I am. So how about I continue to live in that beauty!

How about YOU live in that incredible truth with me.

It's all about the journey and about the healthy balance we live in our lives. I still enjoy a few yummy desserts through out the week. In fact, some dove dark chocolate every night after dinner to be exact. Just to have that little amazingness:) And it's about taking care of our bodies, and for me it's in my work outs each week. It's also about eating good food. Not just yummy tasting food, but food that is good for you! It's ALSO about spend time with my God each and every day because HE is the one speaking the truth into my heart each time I begin to be deceived by lies.

And that my beautiful ladies is all I have for you tonight.
Or it's all the writing I need to do tonight;)

Hugs and blessings!

Britt

Seconds - I Am Second

Seconds - I Am Second

Take a moment to check out this video.

Do you struggle too?

Have you struggled?

Are you afraid you might be heading towards the direction of this struggle?

You are not alone.

Do You Ever Wonder?

Do you ever wonder why we sin?
Do you ever wonder why one moment we can feel so in tune with God, and then the next we're feeling guilt because of sin?
Do you ever wonder why we don't believe we are forgiven, even though God's word declares that we are?
Do you ever wonder what it's going to be like in Heaven, where there is no pain and sadness?
Do you ever wonder what it would be like to never feel ugly, or unattractive?
Do you ever wonder when the truths you have heard, are going to stick?

Do you ever wonder?
Do you ever have that moment where you are filled with emotions that leave you feeling...just odd?
That's the only word I could use to describe this feeling. It's really just odd. It's not like I'm full of anger, sadness, or even joy at that moment. I'm just...feeling something...

Do you ever have this? Or am I alone?

I know I'm not, or else The Beautiful Truth would not be existing.
Or else there probably wouldn't be as many thin women running on the tredmills for hours upon hours.
Or else there wouldn't be a need for plastic surgery for just the average woman.
Or else we wouldn't have millions of women joining together at conferences like the one I attended this weekend, desiring so deeply to hear TRUTH. To hear TRUTH about our significance, about the fact that God has forgiven us from our past sins. Bible studies such as Believing God and Breaking Free, by Beth Moore, probably wouldn't be so popular if I was the only one feeling this way.

It's so interesting to me knowing that I'm not the only one feeling this way, yet we forget to share these things with others.

I'm not quite sure where I am going with this tonight.
In all reality, I just wanted to share with you ladies, that you are not alone.
How many times have I written about this?
I guess it's just something I am passionate about. But today, I think that's what I'm supposed to write about.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

You are not the only woman that fears the thought of gaining weight.
You are not the only Mom that feels so lonely every single day and wonders if this is ever going to get easier.
You aren't the only wife that struggles to find joy today, or that is confident in who you are.
You aren't the only woman wondering if and when you will be able to lose that last 10-20 pounds. Do you need to? Is that realistic? Are you healthy at the weight you are? Just think about that for a moment...
You aren't the only one struggling with what you are struggling with.

How do I know this?
This past weekend I was at the Living Proof Live conference in Tacoma with Beth Moore. There were 6300 other women there seeking GOD. They were seeking affirmation, peace, forgiveness, motivation, and a whole lot more. I remember at the beginning when the worship team came up and the evening began, the women immediately shouted their praises to God. It didn't take a whole lot to get everyone excited to be there. For they were being reminded that THEY ARE NOT ALONE.

Isn't this beautiful?
Even though you feel so alone, you aren't!
If you are anywhere near Columbia Bible College, COME this Monday night to be reminded that YOU AREN'T ALONE.
If you aren't anywhere near CBC, that's ok! Please email your prayers, concerns, or even questions. It is my hope that you can find some hope, and some reminder that you aren't alone.

As I write this, I hear these lyrics in the background by Tenth Avenue North.
These are what remind me that God is listening...

I know i need you
I need to love you
I love to see you, but its been so long
i long to feel you
i feel this need for you'
and i need to hear you
is that so wrong?
now you pulled me near you
when we're close i fear you
still im afraid to tell you
all that i've done
are you done forgiving?
or can you look pass my pretending?
Lord i'm so tired of defending
what i've become
what have i become?
i hear you say "my love is over,
its underneath, its inside, its in between
the times you doubt me, when you can't feel
the times that you've questioned 'is this for real?'
the times you've broken, the times that you mend
the times you hate me and the times that you bend
well my love is over, its underneath
its inside, its in between,
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com 
these times you're healing
and when your heart breaks
the times that you feel like you've fallen from grace
the times you're hurting
the times that you heal
the times you go hungry and *are tempted* to steal
in times of confusion and chaos and pain
im there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame
im there through your heartache
im there in the storm
my love i will keep you by my power alone
i dont care where you've fallen, where you have been
i'll never forsake you
my love never ends, it never ends

There is Truth.

Lately I've been filled with so many different thoughts, ideas, and challenges for all of us women, wanting to feel beautiful in our own skin. I mean, I think it's something that every one of us desires, yet have such a hard time knowing HOW to feel this way. Look at everything we watch on TV. Last night I was watching a bit of the Oscars, which is something I really enjoy doing. I don't usually miss a Grammy Awards show either. It's so fun to see the various dresses, and hairstyles that deep down I would LOVE to wear. I mean, these women look beautiful!

But so do we.
We look beautiful in our cute jeans, or that summer dress with the flowers.
We look gorgeous even when we've got our hair thrown up in a pony tale, and we're sporting the yoga pants.
We look stunning even on those days where all we see in the mirror is that huge zit, or the bags under our eyes.

I wish I could share with all of you readers how many women that have shared with me the certain areas that see on themselves that could "use some work", whether that's plastic surgery, intense work out, or diets.

These women, are the ones you see walking down the street that are flawless in your eyes.

These are the women that we don't like to stand next to in the pictures, or we feel like wear six sizes smaller than we do, which you think makes you look huge....

What am I trying to get at here?

WE ALL STRUGGLE TO FEEL BEAUTIFUL.
EVERYONE OF US IN SOME WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM.

Some of us may not struggle with our physical beauty, or we may think we don't.
Yet, there is some insecurity in your life SOMEWHERE. A lie that you have believed, saying, "You are going to be a horrible mother. You can't cook a good dinner to save your life. You will never be a good hair stylist like the ones on TV, cuz, well, you fill in the blank there. You may feel good in your jeans, but then the next time you see someone with a smaller beauty, you will be reminded that you aren't that pretty."

Girls. Ladies. Women of all ages....THESE ARE ONLY LIES.

Yes, I do believe that we need to take care of our bodies by exercising and eating well. I believe that looks differently for every women though.

What I'm trying to get at is the fact that we are believing things we shouldn't be believing, ME INCLUDED.

Just because I'm passionate about telling YOU how beautiful YOU are, doesn't mean I love what I see in the mirror. I hope that you've been able to see that in reading through the various blog entries, but if not, I STRUGGLE WITH MY OWN INSECURITIES.

So how can we feel beautiful?
It's a process. It takes time. It takes perseverence. And you will fall down sometimes and need to get back up and keep fighting. I've had to stop watching certain TV shows because I start to compare myself with the women on the screen.

Everytime you start to think negative thoughts about yourself, you need to replace them with truth.
Write that you are beautiful on your mirror in the bathroom.
Write it on your wrist.
Or even tattoo it on your wrist, I've seen this before and it's just so cool!
Write Psalm 139 out on a sheet of paper and put it in your pocket or purse, so that whenever you put your hand in there and think, what's this? You will see the truth...that you are beautiful.

There's so much that you can do to remind you of this!
For myself, I remind myself that God made me beautiful the way that I am by reading Psalm 139.
By writing it on the mirror when I'm struggling the most.
By taking care of my body by good exercise and eating healthy so that I know I am taking care of myself, and this is what God has given me.

Think about it, according to Psalm 139, God created us in his image, in our mothers womb. He's the artist. He's the one that made each and every curve, our eye and hair color, because he thought it was BEAUTIFUL.

Think about that today k?
You were MADE by a Creator. By God.
And he thinks that what he has made is.....
         PERFECT. FLAWLESS. BEAUTIFUL.

Any more ideas for helping yourself KNOW  your are beautiful? SHARE! Add these things to the comments at the bottom of this page. I want some more ideas, and I know the rest of the readers would as well!

Britt

Shabby Apple

I came upon this blog today and just had to share it with you.

First of all, you can go to a certain page and answer three questions about your body type, and then they direct you certain dresses that will eccentuate your figure!

Brilliant. Beautiful. It's a MUST check out.

www.shappyapple.com

Ohhh what we do for beauty...

I saw this on Ellen today and just HAD to share it with all you ladies. It just cracks me up!

It's been going great!

It's time for a little update!

The Beautiful Truth has now been officially running for two months now. There's been three official sessions and they have gone so well! All my fears should be put to rest by now, for each night we have had up to at least 20 beautiful ladies attend. The first week I shared my personal story and struggle to feel beautiful, as well as gave an inside look at how The Beautiful Truth came to be and what was to come in the future. It was such a neat way to begin this ministry and I look forward to doing it again, and again, and again. The second evening we met, we had our own professional make-up artist (Tina Brunelle) give us some great tips, and a new way of understanding what beauty for ashes means in our own lives. It was really neat to dig deeper into the reasons why we may not feel beautiful and I hope alot of eyes were opened that evening, like mine were.

 This past week was by far, the best. Why might you ask?

We were talking about sex.
Yep!
Always a popular topic with ladies....:)
It started out with Jen, (who is actually bringing a little girl into this world in about two weeks) about her own struggle to feel beautiful, and the need to seek attention and affirmation from guys. After she poured out her heart, I began to share some of God's truth---which I was so excited for---when the plans changed! Questions started pouring out from the girls, about sex, and marriage, and life, and guys, and sex....it was just awesome.
Being able to talk from a newlywed point of view, Jen and I really enjoyed being able to be honest and TELL THE TRUTH! It was such a cool night.

So far, we've gotten the most response out of that evening and it's made me think about how I should look at that in relation to the rest of the evenings.

I did go home that night worrying that I had said too much, or too little in other areas, and realized that no matter what, God is control of the hearts and minds of his girls.

Let me just say, it's a blessing to be a part of God's work!

I'll keep you posted on what's happening next!.

Britt

A Glimmer of Hope.

http://www.mercyministries.org/SuccessStories/Graduates.aspx

Check this site out.
Mercy Ministries is incredible.

The Real Me by Natalie Grant

Isn't this such beautiful truth today?

He sees the REAL me. The REAL you.

And he ADORES that.

Soak in this truth today beautiful lady loves....

Beautiful - Bethany Dillon

We all desire one thing.

Let's be serious here.

Today I met with a friend and we were talking about exercise and eating healthy and came to the conclusion that there aren't too many women that go to the gym for any other purpose than to lose weight, tighten that booty, lose the underarm fat, my goodness the list could go on.

Why is this?

I mean, above all things, we desire to be beautiful.

I remember when I was going through my own battle with a minor eating disorder, that was the main thing I wanted.

To be beautiful.

To be desirable.

Often I desired to be flawless...

Yet, in time I realized that I am beautiful.

I am desirable.

I will never be flawless and I never want to be flawless.

My imperfections make me unique.

They make me beautiful.

Can I challenge you with something?

Can you take a dry erase marker, and write this on your mirror?

You are STUNNING. You are BEAUTIFUL. You are DESIRABLE.

ANYTHING. I want you to write whatever it is you need to so that you can remember how incredibly beautiful you are.

When things get tough for me and I don't feel beautiful, I don't feel good in my skin, you can bet on finding something written on my mirror. It will either be a verse, or just TRUTH. Words reminding me that I am so beautiful.

Soak in this incredible truth today ok?

Britt

And it was beautiful...

Last night was the FIRST gathering for The Beautiful Truth....

And it was absolutely beautiful.

All day I was just nervous, waiting...anxiously waiting for the evening that I had waited for..for a very long time...to begin. It was almost like I was in a cloud all day, trying not to think about the things I was afraid of, so that I could just get all that was needed to be done, done.

Funny story, for dinner I wanted to make my Mom's famous meatloaf for dinner, it's one of our favs, and it can be done ahead of time. So, as the timer on my oven was going off, telling me that it had cooked Henry the cow long enough, I went to put in this wonderful, thermometer inside to make SURE it was done...(it was my hubby's, might I add) The temp was not quite there, so I thought I would cook the meat a little bit longer, only about fifteen minutes. Little did I know what was happening behind that closed door. Fifteen minutes later, the beeper went off, and I checked the meat. I noticed I had left the thermometer inside, but thought it should be fine since the other one we have works like this. Oh boy was I wrong...and I knew it quite quickly...for the temp. screen was completely red, and everything was just a tiny bit disfigured...

I guess that's what happens when you leave an instant reading thermometer in the oven, for fifteen minutes...

Let's just say, Jason was just a bit on the "bummed out" side...:)

That's what happens when you have a huge, exciting, dream on your mind I guess!

Anyway, as some friends and I were setting up the Commuter Lounge, we thought, "maybe we should keep the circle of comfy chairs and couches small, because who knows how many will show..." Little did we know, that small circle would need to be stretched! As the girls started showing up, we noticed the circle was getting smaller and smaller, thus the need to add more couches! Talk about a WONDERFUL "problem".

Being that it was the first night, I wanted to just share the story of how The Beautiful Truth came to be, as well as my own personal struggle to find beauty in myself. I was a little nervous, yet I knew I could say what I had prepared in my sleep....being that I basically was for the last few months...But as I started to speak, my mind was jumbled and to be honest, I could not figure out where I was going with my words. The reason was not nerves, I mean I did have them. But the reason was...insead of having five beautiful girls staring at me, I had twenty! TWENTY! (And I thought/heard no one would probably come...) It was incredible! So I actually stopped mid sentence and asked Tina, one of our guest speakers this semester, to pray for me because I was just too excited to focus!

It was incredible.
It was beautiful.
It was humbling.

As the evening came to a close, and we all headed back home, I was overcome with such awe that I get to be the person sitting in that chair, talking about how great God is.
Why me?
Why do I get to tell my story?
Why do I get to be the one making this thing happen?
Isn't there someone else that can do the job better than me?

That's not how God works it seems...
He chose me, inperfections and all...
And I am utterly humbled, and deeply thankful.

Today, I woke up with such joy knowing that God did MORE than I could have ever thought or imagined last night...
And it's only THE FIRST NIGHT?!

What does God have planned?
Who else is going to listen to that tap on their heart to come and hear God's truth about how beautiful they are?

Now I am going to just sit back, sleep at night I hope, and enjoy all that God has planned for us ladies in these next few months....

Isn't it cool to be a part of God's ministry?
I'm in awe...


Keep the prayers coming!

Brit

Here it goes!

Just a few thoughts about The Beautiful Truth tonight...check out my personal blog...
http://brittanycavanaugh.blogspot.com/2011/01/beautiful-reality.html

Tomorrow night, if you are anywhere close to Columbia Bible College, check out The Beautiful Truth!

It starts at 6:30 and will be held in the Quiet Lounge, upstairs in the Student Center, look for the signs...

Come and grab some free coffee or tea and listen to me, Brittany Cavanaugh tell you what's planned for The Beautiful Truth this semester as well as share my own story of coming to know God's truth about my true beauty.

Would love to see you there!


If you can't make it tomorrow night, I will be posting on here the official dates of The Beautiful Truth.  We will be meeting two Monday's a month from January to April....very tangible ladies!

Brittany Cavanaugh