You know it's funny. You would think that as the leader of a ministry such as The Beautiful Truth, I would somehow be exempt from having to continue to struggle with my body image, because I'm the one trying to help all of you other women to feel beautiful. You would think it would get easier for me because I am continually talking about God's truth in our beauty. You would think that wouldn't you?
Well, you would also think there would come a point in time where I didn't have to remind you that this is exactly the opposite! As I think about the past blogs I have posted on here, the majority of them talk about how I GET IT. I know what it's like to struggle in my own skin.
Today isn't different. Nope.
But today I have some more hope.
The last few weeks have been more stressful than normal with the reality of graduating college hitting me in the face. I've been job hunting, and figuring out some other really important things, and this leads this "girl that struggles with anxiety" down a path that feels like a mental tornado.
My mind is filled with all sorts of stuff.
-What's for dinner tonight? Tomorrow? Friday? I mean, I want something nice to be here for my sweet hubby when he gets home from work.
-I wonder if ANYONE will call me back about my resume
-When will my work visa go through?
-Will it?
-Are we going to continue living in Canada?
-Or are we finally going to move back to the states?
-Am I losing those extra 7 pounds I want to get off?
-Or is that number on the scale counting in my muscle mass since I do alot of weight training?
-Am I ever going to fit into those beautiful hand-me-down Sevens and Citizens I got from my amazing sister in law?
-Do I keep them out to be an inspiration, or do I hide them so I don't obsess over them?
-So what's for dinner?
-Oh yes, I need to spend some time with God today.
-Laundry. Dishes. Vacuuming (which I love with my new vacuum:) Cleaning. Tidying. How am I going to function when we have children?
-I'm pry never going to be ready for kids!
-What's for dinner again?
-Oh yes. God! I need some time with God.
-Workout time! Veggies. Fruit. Nope, don't eat those cards.
Get the picture? Are you overwhelmed with my thinking here? Cuz I am! Actually, it's embarrassing to read how my thought process can go throughout the day. But it's pure honestly ladies. Or else I'm the only crazy one;)
So where on earth am I going with this today?
Even though I lead this ministry, I DO NOT get to pull the PASS card.
I struggle just as much as any of you do. I may not be in the place where I was when I was really battling an eating disorder, but the memory is oh so present.
Last week I spoke at a youth group Girl's Night and just loved it! Seeing all those beautiful faces listening intently about God's truth was such a gift to me. It's always great practice, but it's always such a reminder. I'm reminded of all that God has done in my life, in taking me from a place filled with lies and deception about my body, to a place where I saw how beautifully God had created me. So why do I still struggle?
I think it's so I never lose my humility. I think it's so that I am always reminded of how absolutely difficult it is to battle through things like this. I'm not just talking about serious eating disorders, and if that's where you are, PLEASE GET HELP. Right now, I'm talking about the daily struggle to just feel beautiful in your own skin. The struggle to KNOW that you are not supposed to look like the models in the magazines. Those women don't even look like that once airbrushing and photoshop does its job.
Sometimes I believe I still struggle with this because it keeps me running back to my Lord, falling on my knees remembering that HE CREATED ME. That HE LOVES ME. And that I CANNOT LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT HIM.
And goodness I PRAISE God for that!
So as I was journaling this morning, just laying down my thoughts and concerns to the Lord, I wrote down these words and believed I needed to share them with you.
ALL LIES ARE BUT LIES.
Yep. Plain and simple. Every lie that comes into your mind, is JUST A LIE. So IGNORE it. It has NO power over you, over me. It cannot change the way we think or feel about ourselves because it's NOT TRUE.
So next time you are scrolling through some friend of a friend's photo's on facebook and you wish you looked more like that girl with the blonde hair, or the girl with the "perfect stomach" claim that lie right there. It's a LIE ladies! You are beautiful just as you are! Maybe you need to eat a little healthier, or start exercising, but you are still BEAUTIFUL. And I can guarantee the girl with the "perfect stomach" wished her abs were more toned, or thinks she has too big of a booty. I've done my research ladies. I've had MANY conversations and have heard things like this come out of the mouths of those exact girls.
So those lies I may be believing or allowing to bring me down? Yep. UNTRUE. So why waste my time allowing them to ruin my day?!
K lady loves, it's time for me to end this loooooong blog.
You're beautiful you know that?!
Yep. SAY it.
Well, you would also think there would come a point in time where I didn't have to remind you that this is exactly the opposite! As I think about the past blogs I have posted on here, the majority of them talk about how I GET IT. I know what it's like to struggle in my own skin.
Today isn't different. Nope.
But today I have some more hope.
The last few weeks have been more stressful than normal with the reality of graduating college hitting me in the face. I've been job hunting, and figuring out some other really important things, and this leads this "girl that struggles with anxiety" down a path that feels like a mental tornado.
My mind is filled with all sorts of stuff.
-What's for dinner tonight? Tomorrow? Friday? I mean, I want something nice to be here for my sweet hubby when he gets home from work.
-I wonder if ANYONE will call me back about my resume
-When will my work visa go through?
-Will it?
-Are we going to continue living in Canada?
-Or are we finally going to move back to the states?
-Am I losing those extra 7 pounds I want to get off?
-Or is that number on the scale counting in my muscle mass since I do alot of weight training?
-Am I ever going to fit into those beautiful hand-me-down Sevens and Citizens I got from my amazing sister in law?
-Do I keep them out to be an inspiration, or do I hide them so I don't obsess over them?
-So what's for dinner?
-Oh yes, I need to spend some time with God today.
-Laundry. Dishes. Vacuuming (which I love with my new vacuum:) Cleaning. Tidying. How am I going to function when we have children?
-I'm pry never going to be ready for kids!
-What's for dinner again?
-Oh yes. God! I need some time with God.
-Workout time! Veggies. Fruit. Nope, don't eat those cards.
Get the picture? Are you overwhelmed with my thinking here? Cuz I am! Actually, it's embarrassing to read how my thought process can go throughout the day. But it's pure honestly ladies. Or else I'm the only crazy one;)
So where on earth am I going with this today?
Even though I lead this ministry, I DO NOT get to pull the PASS card.
I struggle just as much as any of you do. I may not be in the place where I was when I was really battling an eating disorder, but the memory is oh so present.
Last week I spoke at a youth group Girl's Night and just loved it! Seeing all those beautiful faces listening intently about God's truth was such a gift to me. It's always great practice, but it's always such a reminder. I'm reminded of all that God has done in my life, in taking me from a place filled with lies and deception about my body, to a place where I saw how beautifully God had created me. So why do I still struggle?
I think it's so I never lose my humility. I think it's so that I am always reminded of how absolutely difficult it is to battle through things like this. I'm not just talking about serious eating disorders, and if that's where you are, PLEASE GET HELP. Right now, I'm talking about the daily struggle to just feel beautiful in your own skin. The struggle to KNOW that you are not supposed to look like the models in the magazines. Those women don't even look like that once airbrushing and photoshop does its job.
Sometimes I believe I still struggle with this because it keeps me running back to my Lord, falling on my knees remembering that HE CREATED ME. That HE LOVES ME. And that I CANNOT LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT HIM.
And goodness I PRAISE God for that!
So as I was journaling this morning, just laying down my thoughts and concerns to the Lord, I wrote down these words and believed I needed to share them with you.
ALL LIES ARE BUT LIES.
Yep. Plain and simple. Every lie that comes into your mind, is JUST A LIE. So IGNORE it. It has NO power over you, over me. It cannot change the way we think or feel about ourselves because it's NOT TRUE.
So next time you are scrolling through some friend of a friend's photo's on facebook and you wish you looked more like that girl with the blonde hair, or the girl with the "perfect stomach" claim that lie right there. It's a LIE ladies! You are beautiful just as you are! Maybe you need to eat a little healthier, or start exercising, but you are still BEAUTIFUL. And I can guarantee the girl with the "perfect stomach" wished her abs were more toned, or thinks she has too big of a booty. I've done my research ladies. I've had MANY conversations and have heard things like this come out of the mouths of those exact girls.
So those lies I may be believing or allowing to bring me down? Yep. UNTRUE. So why waste my time allowing them to ruin my day?!
K lady loves, it's time for me to end this loooooong blog.
You're beautiful you know that?!
Yep. SAY it.
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